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Watchmen is About to Make Our (Non-Existing) Wildest Blue-Wiener Dreams Come...
Last summer, the teaser trailer for Watchmen was attached to The Dark Knight and nerds the world over collectively rejoiced (orgasmed). Here, in case you forgot: I’ll freely admit that it got me...
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Why Should Anybody Be Watching Watchmen This Weekend When There’s Technicolor...
So last night I ran into my friend Brynn at Film Forum on my way to see Lola Montès–the crazy-brilliant cinematic extravaganza by Max Ophüls (more on that later)–and, while I was standing in line, she...
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Whatever the Way, Watchmen Will Be Amazing
Later today, after months of anticipation, I’ll be seeing this nonsense: The poster alone is positively ridiculous, and judging by the reviews, so is the movie. I keep on hearing talk that the acting...
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Let’s Let Train Wreck Carla Gugino Ease Us Into The Work Week
While I’d love to be an intrepidly productive fellow and drop a full Watchmen review right now, another week of work is quickly encroaching upon us, which mean this lil’ lady needs some rest. Also,...
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Having Now Seen Watchmen I Can Attest That I’ve No Idea What I’ve Seen
Well, Watchmen came out this weekend, and so we can now safely say that Billy Crudup’s CGI-enhanced blue full monty and Malin Akerman’s inimitable understanding of “acting” (apparently a mixture of...
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Since It’s Quite Popular, Let’s Talk Some More About the Dr. Manhattan’s Blue...
Over the weekend, despite not being particularly active with my blogging duties, I noticed a relatively unusual spike in views: I recognize that, in the infinite traffic of the interwebs, this level of...
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Not Even a Pound of Cheese Will Convince Me to See X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Have you heard of Papa John’s Pizza’s X-Men Origins: Wolverine promotional tie-in pizza, the XL X-treme Cheese Pizza? It’s an extra-large pizza that purports to have nearly a pound of cheese on it....
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The Iron Man 2 Teaser Trailer Is THE Summer Movie Hotness. Le DUH.
I don’t know about you, but last night I had a rather delicious filet mignon at my office’s holiday dinner party, then I came home, and then I promptly shat my nerd pants. Why? Because the Iron Man 2...
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Thanks to This Teaser Trailer, Waiting for Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Is...
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is going to come out August 13th. Today is March 25th. That means Scott Pilgrim vs the World isn’t going to be in theaters for nearly five months. That is unacceptable...
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Today’s Fabulous Image in Cinema: Carla Gugino in Watchmen
When you consider how I feel about Carla Gugino in Watchmen, and then you throw in how I feel about fabulous ladies in fabulous glasses, Today’s Fabulous Image in Cinema of Carla Gugino as the...
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Who Rewatches Watchmen? (I Do.)
In “anticipation” of Zack Snyder’s latest dour ‘n desaturated super hero action orgy, Bats v. Supes: More Titles Plz, I decided to rewatch Watchmen, because I kinda liked it before, I was curious how...
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We’re All Sad Affleck This Weekend
If you, like me, have already seen Bats v. Supes: Dawn of Just Put Me Out of My Misery Already, you’re probably feeling an awful lot like Ben Affleck seems in this GIF. He does not look like he wants...
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Try and Say Something Nice: Batman v. Superman Edition
If you can’t say something nice, it’s entirely likely you’re having a conversation about Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. It’s just not good! Still, while I fully intend to bitch and moan about...
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No, Batman v. Superman Is Not “the Showgirls of Superhero Films”
The night before Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice came out, two of my friends tagged me in separate Facebook posts linking to a review from Ars Technica declaring BvS “the Showgirls of superhero...
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